Strangely Diabetic - Latest Comments

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

shannon — Fri, 11 May 2012 16:44:40 -0000

ah man, it's amazing how therapists can show us the 'big picture' when we can't see it ourselves, huh? i really like that pic you posted of you. i hope you can look back on it in the future with most of what you're going through now just a memory.

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

Scott Strange — Fri, 11 May 2012 10:54:39 -0000

Thanks Meri, I guess we'll just have to see how the rest of the story plays out

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

Scott Strange — Fri, 11 May 2012 10:54:07 -0000

Well, that was step one in my nefarious plan to rule the world

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

Scott Strange — Fri, 11 May 2012 10:52:49 -0000

Oh I decided to stick around a long time ago... I just hadn't decided whether I'd like it or not

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

Cheri Pate — Wed, 09 May 2012 22:13:05 -0000

The future & the world can only be better because you'll be there. Thanks for deciding to stick around. :)

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

Colleen — Wed, 09 May 2012 19:11:32 -0000

There is a future. And you will be there. So, there!

Re: The Not So Wordless Wednesday

Meri — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:56:47 -0000

I like the idea of a future world with you in it. From what I've seen...the world will be better because of it.

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott K. Johnson — Tue, 08 May 2012 00:55:48 -0000

I know I'm late to the party. What else is new...

I can see that you're making progress, even though it may not seem like it. And this stuff you're facing is scary. But I can't wait until you burst out of the other side and have fun living! You can do this man. I love you brother!

Re: Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Mike Hoskins — Thu, 03 May 2012 07:38:57 -0000

Spent way too much time trying to place your location, but couldn't... so. Congrats on the self photo-taking while traveling. Have a great time, Scott!!

Re: Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Colleen — Wed, 02 May 2012 19:16:32 -0000

Bob beat me to the line!
Hope you're having a wonderful time!

Re: Mostly Wordless Wednesday

rpederse — Wed, 02 May 2012 19:05:54 -0000

Toto, I don't think you're in Kansas anymore....

Re: On Death and… Living?

Cheri Pate — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:25:43 -0000

I hope by the time you read this comment, you've made it back to therapy. I have no sage advice or wisdom to impart but I can tell you one thing for sure & certain, YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are allowed to enjoy anything you'd like. Just because we're supposed to be dead doesn't mean we're not allowed to live. Not that I know how to do that any better than you do, but we can all figure it out together. :)

((((((Big Hugs)))))) LY/MI!

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott Strange — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:43:31 -0000

Thanks for you comment Kim... my history is alot like yours; just basically doing the minimum to get by and not really caring about it. I'm really glad that you like yourself now because it gives me hope that I can get to that point as well

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott Strange — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:40:26 -0000

That helps alot, George...

Yea, this shit does suck but I'm still working on the "I don't" part... I still have a lot of things to "unlearn" and so much of it is perception. Perception of myself, of my self worth, of the world and how I interact with it.

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott Strange — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:36:01 -0000

Thanks, Shannon... I'm just trying something, anything to get to where I feel am making some progress. My "I'm a work in progress" has been stalled for a while

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott Strange — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:33:23 -0000

A "vicious cycle"... my god, yes. Those thoughts of inadequacy and failure just keep feeding themselves until they became a normal thought process for me. I think you're right, we are training ourselves to be social, to learn new ways of actually participating in the world and not just coasting through it.

Mike, thanks for all your support... I can't express how much it helps me to have a friend going through this at the same time I am. I'm sure we'll eventually get to the point where we'll look back and go "holy crap. that was some effed up shit"

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott Strange — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:22:57 -0000

Hmmm... so I'm wrong in thinking so much about things I'm wrong in thinking about? And my chosen means of working though these issues is wrong as well? And I should quit whining because there are people who "have it so much worse"?

You may not have meant it that way, but when I first read it? That was how I perceived it; as a reply basically telling me that I'm wrong in doing what I'm doing, wrong in feeling what I'm feeling and wrong in reaching out for help.

It really doesn't matter how you intended it to come out. In things like this, it is how the other person perceives it that is important.

But, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume that you didn't mean it that way

Re: On Death and… Living?

Scott Strange — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:17:04 -0000

Hi Colleen, I think you're right. I just don't know how to go about it and I'm trying to learn a new way to live, to perceive the world and my relationship to it. It's a bit overwhelming at times

I'll look forward to meeting you!

Re: On Death and… Living?

George Simmons — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:52:23 -0000

Scott. I love you brother. Dunno if that helps any but it's the truth. Shit sucks. You don't. <3

Re: On Death and… Living?

shannon — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:06:48 -0000

this is some heavy shit, dude. i don't have any awesome words of advice since i've not been in your shoes, but i think that fact that you're writing about it here has to count for something. i just read your supportive comment on jess's post. my hope for you is that you can turn that kindness toward yourself.

Re: On Death and… Living?

Mike Hoskins — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:29:50 -0000

Scott, this hit right at the heart of what I've also been feeling. My own Mind Ninja and I have been talking about this similar issue, and it's come to the point where she's helped me see that I've been having that Why Bother and Don't Bother attitude for so long that I've lost any sense of who I really am. I have sacrificed myself and my life enjoyment for those feelings of inadequacy and letting other people taking the lead. And it's all a vicious cycle. I found myself feeling this way and wanting to withdraw, be anti-social at a recent D-conference with friends. While I was largely quiet in the big group settings, I challenged and pushed myself to interact. To go out and be around people, just like you went out with a friend for some beers. I've been doing that myself on this end, just going out for a beer after work and sitting among the people at the bar to talk. It's almost like re-training myself to be social. Just to get back into that routine of being around and interacting, not letting myself dwell on those feelings of inadequacy where I'm judging myself. It is a work in progress, my friend. Think you're on the same road, to some degree. Know that you ARE worthwhile - I can't express how much I look up to you and consider you a friend. So thank you for writing this, Scott.

Re: On Death and… Living?

Ladyslipper5 — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:01:33 -0000

All this thinking would make me sick. Over analyzing to the point where you aren't enjoying each day as it comes. We are blessed with being here, and I always remind myself there are others that have worse off situations than what I deal with each day. Count your blessings, do your best, and enjoy what is around you...your friends, your hobbies, your family etc etc. These therapists mean well, but we spend so much time involved in this disease that I for one don't want to dwell on it more. Its finding that balance that works.

Re: On Death and… Living?

Colleen — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 20:00:05 -0000

Maybe "living" doesn't scare you so much as you're just not sure how to do it. I think (and you didn't ask but...) that your evening with a good friend was a great start. Trying to find something each day or even each week that makes you happy or just makes you smile, can help, maybe... I hope.
When we travel to KC to visit our son, I hope we get to meet.

Re: On Death and… Living?

kim — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:49:17 -0000

Listen here mister, i too am T1D and have been for 37 years. I have met exactly 2 other
T1D's in my life, but that was in passing. I am the only one in my family to have Diabetes. I was told i wouldn't live long also. But here I am. I didn't take care of or admit to my Diabetes for many
years, just going along, barely caring. There comes a time, when you just have to say "FUCK YOU", and start to live. to really live. to care about yourself and know that there are others that care about you too. last year, after living through triple bypass surgery, i figured if that didn't kill me then i better get my shit together and start to live as though i would live forever. i started a blog, i started using a pump, and started to like myself. to really like myself! it's hard but "YOU ARE WORTH IT"

Re: An Open Letter to Insurers About Mental Health Coverage: Does It Really Exist?

Mike Hoskins — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 19:06:35 -0000

Excellent and thought-provoking post here, Scott. I experienced this a year ago when I first explored getting some mental health help - my insurer at the time wouldn't cover in much the same way you've described. But now I have better coverage. My endo recommended the Behavioral Health folk at the affiliated hospital but they didn't take my insurance there; so I had to go through their private practices and one did cover it. My co-pay is $35. Actually, my coverage provides for something like 52 sessions a year - seriously, who's going to use THAT much?? Mind Ninja told me she was skeptical and as probably setting the stage for a future change with much less coverage. Who knows.